im drinking this country out of the recession.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
