i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
