11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
