Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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