Where did you get a picture of my penis
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
