My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
We need a shit load of segways right now
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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