Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
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