Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Randomize
