In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
