The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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