What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
