we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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