if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
