____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
