Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
