Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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