Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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