OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
