Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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