Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
They should really pass out barf bags in church
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize
