dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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