yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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