another moral hangover. fuck.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
