im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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