yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
