you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize