ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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