Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
