u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
