listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Randomize
