from now on my penis is your penis
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Randomize
