Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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