dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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