i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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