summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize
