Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
