I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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