I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Are we in a gay sports bar?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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