I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
