"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
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