Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
