just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
