i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
