I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
