So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
