You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
