By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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