just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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