I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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