And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
