that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I think my vagina is haunted
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
