Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
