cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
