I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
