whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
