My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
